Tag Archives: thoughts

Is Social Media becoming too personal?


Recently I received an email from Rae, asking my thoughts on women posting personal information about their relationships on social networks.

Rae’s Question:

XayLi, I am an avid reader of your blog for a while now and I love what you are doing. Recently my sister went through a break up with her boyfriend and she wrote about the entire episode on all of her social media. I tried to stop her because, some people thought she was stupid, others felt really bad for her and some got really tired of it all. So my question to you is: Is Social Media becoming too personal? What do you feel about this?

My response:

Hi Rae! First, I want to thank you for writing and asking me my opinion on this topic. You expressed that you have been following my blog for a while now and I also wanted to say thank you for that.

As for your question, I personally am really not a big fan of using social networks to outwardly express one’s most intimate feelings. Especially where a relationship is concerned. It saddens me (and depending on the extent, is sometimes extremely annoying) when a woman has been posting about how awesome her significant other is and what he does for her. And then one day it all stops, then you realize that she is posting from the other end of the spectrum, where she is no longer in the wonderful place that she was a few weeks/months/years ago. She becomes bitter and begins posting things about how much he has hurt her. She also begins posting about or sometimes to him (her significant other) or to the new person he is now involved with. She may even begin posting about her deep hate for the person she once was deeply in love with.

Situations like this happen everyday on some of our timelines as users of social media. The words and expressions that were once saved for the confines of a journal are now written publicly for the world to see. This has taken away most of some people’s personal privacy as now we are even exposed to knowing when a person is using the bathroom. Sideline: (Ugh. Am I the only person that really Hates seeing those posts of pictures of when guys are broadcasting their “polo” underwear around their ankles while using the restroom. Like really?!?) Sorry about that, back to business.

Please don’t get me wrong. People are entitled to express how they feel about situations. After all you are reading my blog (which is a mashup of things that do also involve my feelings). We are all human and we may all at some point express certain things on our own timelines that we may have been better off not sharing, but getting all into the nitty gritty of personal situations is what I personally do not agree with. A FaceBook friend should never be able to write a accurately detailed book about your personal life or relationship with others, based on what they have learned about you on your timeline.

Yes, Social Media has exposed us to more than we would like to experience at times. However, lately we do also have an influx of positive quotes, pictures and memes etc. which do help to counteract some of the crazy things we read via other people. Let’s do things like we used to and call someone close to us when we have issues with people or even call that person themselves. Please folks being real is definitely cool but, there is no need to let the whole world into your bedroom windows. We’re not all perfect but Don’t you agree?

Hey Rae, I hope you can talk to your sister about this and I really do hope that everything works out in the best way for her.

Guys, Email me with your own questions at XayLi@byxayli.com I’ll be happy to hear from you!


Nike Fuel Band is the Band to make Xay Dance!

I Finally got my Nike Fuel Band!! I’m so excited. I used it yesterday for the first time and It was an amazing experience. It encouraged me to be more active to ensure that I met my goal of 3000 Nike Fuel points (which are Nikes own measurement of the users activity). The band looks very neat and comes in different sizes. I got the black band because I love black! (duh). The set up is easy as long as you follow the instructions and battery lasts long and does not take too much time to charge.


The thing I love most about the Fuel Band is that is can be updated Via the Nike Fuelband iphone application! So you can see your progress throughout the day. The Fuel Band has to be connected via bluetooth on the iphone. This definitely kept me motivated throughout the day in my journey to be more active and FIT.  And hitting my Goal was def the highlight of my day!


Here the App shows my calories burnt, my steps taken and my daily average. The numbers in the middle are My Nike Fuel points. You are able to manually set your goals, and since I sit at a desk all day, I try my best to be active in the mornings, at lunch and after work. Yesterday however, I was encouraged to do an extra workout just so that I would exceed my personal goal of 3000 Fuel Points. As time goes I am going to continue trying to beat my own goals, and thats the exciting part for me!! (yes, I am my own competition :))


This is a graph explaining my activity, also part of the Fuel Band application. Here you can see that I had certain active spikes during the day, my goal can also be something as simple as focusing on creating more sporadic activity spikes on my chart.


This is an actual picture of when I achieved my set goal on the Fuel Band itself! (can you picture the excitement though!!!) LoL.


All in all,  many folks argue about the ability of the band itself to measure correctly certain activites such as steps, miles, calories etc. Personally I am more concerned about the Goal oriented aspect of the band. It allows me, using its own accuracy, to push myself more and more as time progresses. This is my motivation or how I intend to use my Nike Fuel Band.

I have been using pedometers for years to track my activity. My goal for maintaining or being healthy would always be 10,000 steps. Sadly,  I was not discplined enough to raise the bar. With so many measurements at my disposal in one little gadget on my wrist, I am able to use either the goal of exceeding my fuel points or calories burnt, which may in turn help me exceed my goals of more steps. Works for me! O this nifty little gadget is also a watch!

Enjoy! And always remember that reaching the smallest of goals can help you achieve even bigger ones :)




Sometimes in life events do not occur exactly as we may want them to, or in the time frame that we may prefer.

Sometimes we over analyze things and worry ourselves to death about things that we cannot control.

Sometimes we feel like the support system that we need isn’t present in our lives.

And then Sometimes we feel like our tears go in vain.

Lately I’ve gotten tired of the “keep your head up” and the “keep on pushing” or even the “nothing happens before its time”.

But in the end of it all you realize that YOU are your own support system at all times. Only you can cause yourself to fail. YOUR efforts will shape your life and all that you achieve. YOUR destiny depends on you only along with your ability to push on and appreciate your own life. YOU Have the ability to utilize all of the opportunities that you are given in life. Whether they may be positive or negative. WORK hard towards all of the benefits you would like to reap in the long and short run. Be positive, upbeat and focus intently on the good more than you do the bad.

In other words, when life gives you lemons, Make sure YOU find a way to make Cotton Candy.


For the Ones that didn’t believe

Im sorry u didnt understand my dreams before..
But they are here today..
All the money.. All those cars…
My dreams are here to stay!

Im sorry u were not patient enough
To share it all with me
Bought that money green bentley you loved… But parked in My garage itll stay

All these things are just reminders of all the times you doubted me.
While u sat with your sordid thoughts
i’d chuckle at your lack of faith.

I hope ur happy with your broken spirits but with you that shit will stay.. Its only positivity in my circle
Keep your negativity away.

With you i could not grow,
With you i had no soul,
And if i left my Dreams for You
I wouldnt be on this road.

Thank God i left you for my Dreams,
Although this money wont keep me grounded
Google me baby, go online
It took a while, but now im founded.

Late Night Sketch

Tonight as I do most nights, I sat down to get some work done. Lately I’ve been a very nocturnal creature. The night makes my mind wander… So its when im most creative. I sat down at my pull out desk in my bubble (my room.. Where all things Xay are created) and I got to work sketching. My tele kept me great company! O how I love watching gory crime solving mystery murder stories while I create. (weird, yess, yes, i know).
I have taken a love to Crayola twistables! So i sat and sketched this cropped blazer that I’ve had in my head forever along with a ton of other things that I intend on getting out in the nights to come.


Next ill get my fabric and make my sketch come alive! Hmmm I wonder what this will go with. (Maybe a red skirt will make it pop!) I’ll be sure to post pictures of the finished product. My loves (friends) and I have really been interested in photography lately. Well thats another post in itself!


Xove Xay..


Just a few things that I think defines SUCCESS..

Success is getting PAID to do what I passionately love – Xay

Success is being able to assist others physically (fashion) while being known and respected globally- Xay

Success is knowing that when I die, I am definitely going to heaven, because I am a good person, yet living everyday to the fullest- Xay

Success is seeing my father smile because I made it even further than he thought I would (and he knows I’m going far)- Xay

Success is honoring my mother- Xay

Success is proving everyone that ever doubted me, WRONG, because I know how a lot of people feel about me and my choices- Xay


I got some opinions about what other people thought defined success too…!

PRICE SIMON- Making strides against all that plagues you, to find ultimate happiness and safety for yourself and those that you love.

HAMIDA AMIN- Success is working when everyone else is sleeping ( Yesss Gives me Life!!!! lol)

- Success is being fully grounded in your own unique genius

- Success is knowing your limitations but working as if they do not exist!

(GIrllllllllll smh I don’t know why you aren’t a philosopher yet)

SEAN HUTCHINSON- Success is being able to live your best life with few obstacles of limitations

JAYGO AMALI- Success is a journey! Not a destination!

HARI MARIE- Success is Acquiring ones definition of wealth (lol Hara should we do Wealth next?)

- Success is independence, satistfaction, health, good relationships,

- Success= Happiness

ABI HOLA- Success isn’t being financially well off but being able to accomplish all of ones goals.

Damnn they all went in! Made my definitions sound like NADA.. lol

Whats your Idea of Success…? These are the things we should be thinking about, We’d get much further in life!

Xove Xay..

Out with my Loves <3 !!

Last week I had an awesome night out w a few of my aces! Ahhhh the life of well.. Me! I haven’t yet found a category for myself! (don’t think I ever will though). Soo we decided to attend the billboard blowout, before heading out to a night in the city. It was a really nice experience..I somehow after being bold ended up on some sites..(which if I could find them i would post the links) But it was a great night all in all. (ehemm)

I couldn’t find anything to wear! I absolutely despise when this happens. Ever since I was little my aunt would tell me if I had one outfit, then I’d def know what I was wearing lol! Thank God I’ve always been blessed and CREATIVE!I found these cute leopard print shorts that I had sewn a while ago and a denim cutoff jacket that I had altered ions ago.. so I paired these two, which had absolutely nothing to do with each other, swung my dreads over to one side and I was on my way! FUCK iT!


Swizz Beatz killed his performance, and he even Brought Estelle, who I absolutely love! and she looked dope as F*&% too! LMFAO performed my fav Shufflin! Where we ended up after is a secret. shhhhh! (deserves a post all by itself) It was a good night all in all.


My Aces:

Top Left: My darling, Yanni Fierce

Bottom Left: My Lover for life, Hari Marie! @HariMarie on twitter! shes the Dopest Event Planner!

Right: My Duuuudddeeee, Price! @ipricesimon on twitter! he does everything! I cant even begin!


My dope shorts! lollll.So cool n comfy!!

Xove Xay..