Tag Archives: Fashion

Is Social Media becoming too personal?


Recently I received an email from Rae, asking my thoughts on women posting personal information about their relationships on social networks.

Rae’s Question:

XayLi, I am an avid reader of your blog for a while now and I love what you are doing. Recently my sister went through a break up with her boyfriend and she wrote about the entire episode on all of her social media. I tried to stop her because, some people thought she was stupid, others felt really bad for her and some got really tired of it all. So my question to you is: Is Social Media becoming too personal? What do you feel about this?

My response:

Hi Rae! First, I want to thank you for writing and asking me my opinion on this topic. You expressed that you have been following my blog for a while now and I also wanted to say thank you for that.

As for your question, I personally am really not a big fan of using social networks to outwardly express one’s most intimate feelings. Especially where a relationship is concerned. It saddens me (and depending on the extent, is sometimes extremely annoying) when a woman has been posting about how awesome her significant other is and what he does for her. And then one day it all stops, then you realize that she is posting from the other end of the spectrum, where she is no longer in the wonderful place that she was a few weeks/months/years ago. She becomes bitter and begins posting things about how much he has hurt her. She also begins posting about or sometimes to him (her significant other) or to the new person he is now involved with. She may even begin posting about her deep hate for the person she once was deeply in love with.

Situations like this happen everyday on some of our timelines as users of social media. The words and expressions that were once saved for the confines of a journal are now written publicly for the world to see. This has taken away most of some people’s personal privacy as now we are even exposed to knowing when a person is using the bathroom. Sideline: (Ugh. Am I the only person that really Hates seeing those posts of pictures of when guys are broadcasting their “polo” underwear around their ankles while using the restroom. Like really?!?) Sorry about that, back to business.

Please don’t get me wrong. People are entitled to express how they feel about situations. After all you are reading my blog (which is a mashup of things that do also involve my feelings). We are all human and we may all at some point express certain things on our own timelines that we may have been better off not sharing, but getting all into the nitty gritty of personal situations is what I personally do not agree with. A FaceBook friend should never be able to write a accurately detailed book about your personal life or relationship with others, based on what they have learned about you on your timeline.

Yes, Social Media has exposed us to more than we would like to experience at times. However, lately we do also have an influx of positive quotes, pictures and memes etc. which do help to counteract some of the crazy things we read via other people. Let’s do things like we used to and call someone close to us when we have issues with people or even call that person themselves. Please folks being real is definitely cool but, there is no need to let the whole world into your bedroom windows. We’re not all perfect but Don’t you agree?

Hey Rae, I hope you can talk to your sister about this and I really do hope that everything works out in the best way for her.

Guys, Email me with your own questions at XayLi@byxayli.com I’ll be happy to hear from you!


10 Minute Makeup Tutorial

Hi Guys! hope all is well! I’m coming to you today with a much requested post! This is my version of a 10 minute makeup tutorial for probably a lunch date, or so. Today I put my lipstick on first! I usually do this last, but I did it just get this look done quickly for u guys. I used the ever so popular Ruby Woo, by MAC Cosmetics. (my face here already has primer and foundation applied) I use MAC Cosmetics Prep and Prime for face primer and my foundation today was MAC Cosmetics MatchMaster Foundation in 8.0.

My Ruby Woo!


I also used MAC Cosmetics select cover up concealer to cover up my dark circles under the eye area. For this I also used my foundation F60 brush by Sigma Beauty (my absolute fav line of brushes). I forgot to take a picture of this (please forgive me folks).


I carefully in quick strokes, took a bit of concealer on the brush and applied it to the under eye area.


Then thoroughly blended it into my skin.


When satisfied with my blending, Using my Sonia Kashuk powder brush, (please excuse my shoddy manicure. Lol)


And my NYC stay matte but not flat face powder I set my foundation and concealer. (I did not do heavy contouring for this look, that will however be discussed in another post)


When setting was finished this was the result!


Now for some quick highlighting!!
I used an angled brush,


And then I applied some of my absolute favorite bronzer, also by Sonia Kashuk!!


Then! Using the same brush I applied a contour using MAC Cosmetics Studio Fix Powder in NW58 (which is approximately two shades darker than my skin tone) to give my face a subtle contour and warm up my look a bit.



This dewy look was my finished product.


I then used my fav Black Radiance Continuous Creme Liner,


And my MAC 266 angled liner brush,


And finished off my eyebrows and eyeliner!


Great! Last but not least, I look my face carefully to see if I have blended properly and applied my makeup neatly. (you don’t want to walk around with makeup that is a different color from your neck, or a hairline that is not properly blended either!)


So, make sure to retouch or blend anything you need to! Approve and Go!!


Thanks so much for your interest in this post Xuys! Remember also, you do not always have to use extremely expensive makeup. I don’t always use MAC and such, sometimes I do use pharmacy makeup. Where I would advise that you do spend money is on proper brushes. Proper brushes do make a great difference in makeup application (But thats another post!) Thanks Again!


XayLi Updates! All about this Token Dread Girl And You!

Hi Guys!! Hope all is well with all of You, old and new!! :) I’ve have this here blog for a few years now and boy has it grown over the years! I just really want to say thank you to everyone that has taken this journey with me!! I’d also like to welcome those folks who have recently joined me too. I am extremely happy to have all of you.

I began this here blog on August 4th, 2011. Boy has life changed drastically since then! This was not my first blog but I’ve stayed dedicated and I have definitely grown with it. I started writing here as a way of documenting my thoughts and feelings during an extremely dark period in my life and it has turned into one of my most prized accomplishments. I thank God for it every day, and I hope that I do inspire others to be beautiful inside and out and to definitely keep pushing for whatever you may dream of having. I know I still have a great way to go and I do hope that if you are reading this, that you will follow the rest of my journey and be inspired to share your own and someday help someone else!

This article today is being written to celebrate My Xlogaversary here at TOKEN DREAD GIRL  (although I almost a month late, please excuse me, I have ironed  out my kinks) and to introduce to you a few things that I will be keeping up with here on the site.

As you do know its alllll about Xay here! :) (Its about you too, you’ll see. lol)


I will be focusing on hair care as I get so many emails about My own hair care regimen all the time. I love answering your questions, I love assisting others, and I love seeing folks take great advice and get great results! I will also be posting about what has worked for others that I have advised, not only about myself (there! see! this is about you too!!) So please do feel free to email me at xayli@byxayli.com!


I have also always loved letting you guys know what I’m eating and where! Although I try my best not to eat out alot :( So that I can stay healthy. (I make better food choices at home. Do you!) But I will as I always did before, let you know where XayLi has eaten :)


Speaking of cooking at home and health, I will be posting my meals and their respective recipes on the Fit By XayLi on the site. I’m here to share what I learn with you!! Being healthy is a journey, but its a great journey, one that I have been throughly enjoying although it gets tough sometimes.


The Styled ByXayLi page will also feature New, Trendy Fashion Collages specially prepared by yours truly! I will also be answering emails in this section. So If you would like to know what you should wear to an event or simple gathering, probably dinner or meeting the parents you can also email those questions to me. I’ll be happy to assist! Get #styledbyxay today!


Hair tutorials!! Yes you’ve asked and they’re on their way :) Be on the look out for them!!


Yes! Your prayers have been answered! Make Up Tutorials are on the way also. I know lots of you have been drilling me about YouTube! I wish I had more time to work on those, but I promise that they are on my agenda.


Of course my personal style posts are still going to be on the site also! They’re fun! and you know I love fashion!


More about Eyebrows!! You know how I feel about these creatures (brows). And please do anticipate my own line of eyebrow kits at the end of this year! I have been working diligently on them, I just simply want to ensure that they are just as perfect as all eyebrows should be!


I will also be posting about other projects that I am working on. So please do stay tuned.


Of Course I will be featuring other make overs and clients!! You all know that thats where my heart lies. I live to make a person feel brand new, while documenting them in that special moment.


Last but not least I will be conducting my Product Referrals by providing direct links for purchase to these products Via Amazon.com! I love using Amazon because I love their customer service, I have been using them for years and years. (yes I spend a lot of time on amazon. lol) And they have almost everything under the sun. So why not?!? For items I love, you can also visit my Amazon Recommendation Store Page on the site!


I have lots of great new things in store loves! Don’t forget to Love our facebook page and follow me on Instagram @byxayli


Katlynn Simone, Beautiful Lie

You know I’m always finding new cool artists that I absolutely have to share with you guys! I always leave them in the Music Category of the blog. But here’s this new awesome artist Katlynn Simone. I heard this song on “The Game” and I just had to research it and find it! I am so in love with this song Beautiful Lie!

Let me know what you think about it. Rock on.


I’m in LOVE with Elli Ingram: Poetic Justice

I’ve been meaning to post this forever now! Have you guys heard of Elli Ingram? Yes! I’ve been totally obsessed with her for a while now. She is extremely talented and she is such a beautiful soul even when she isn’t using her God given Gift of a voice. I also loove her fashion sense! or who ever is styling her is doing a superb job! You know I love me some vintage prints, and pieces. :)

Here, she covers one of my absolute favorites, Kendrick Lamar feat. Drake “Poetic Justice”. Which was created from a sample of Janet Jackson’s “Anytime, Anyplace”. Elli nails it clearly, and creates and entirely new, soulful, sultry, sexy depth to this song. And the video itself pulls you in. In love with this! As usual, Email me! XayLi@byxayli.com and let me know what you guys think!!!

You can check her out at www.elliingram.com

Loving her new single tooo! Oh Elli… <3


Please welcome London Gal Christie!!

Hey loves!! I’m so happy to present Christie Naomi to you guys! She will be working along side me on my online store and fashion blog www.LGStyleOnline.com So be sure to stay tuned! God blessed me by sending me the perfect intern. Hope you guys love her as much as I do!!


“If no one is laughing at your dreams, they aren’t big enough” – Grayson Marshall
Our latest contributor and London Gal, Christie Naomi, is a bona fide dream chaser and over achiever. Known as Hollie, by her close friends and family members, she is a graduate student at Savannah College of Art and Design (SCAD) in Atlanta, pursuing a MFA in Luxury and Fashion Management. She is a firm believer that you can attract whatever you want in life through positive thinking and hard work.
As a young girl, Christie Naomi had a suppressed desire to pursue a creative career; with memories from as early as the age of eight(8) of creating a magazine on notebook paper with her friends. In her senior year of college, she participated in a study abroad program in Florence, Italy where she took her formal fashion classes for the first time. This experience included attending the Mercedes Benz Fashion Week in Milan, interning at a small vintage luxury boutique and shadowing her professor at Gucci.
Since then she has forged a strong commitment to obtaining a fulfilling a career in fashion. In keeping with the rest of us LGs, she is a Jane-of-all-trades as she sees herself conquering several arenas in the industry; from fashion writing and editing to brand management, founding a magazine and her own brand of accessories.
As a contributor to this blog, she hopes to share stories that will serve as motivation to other LGs, advice on how to break into the industry and achieve even the most laughable dreams.

Christie Naomi

ORS Hair Repair Invigorating Shampoo!

Hey guys!!!! Lets Talk hair again! Every now and then my hair gets too accustomed to whatever I’m using and I have to switch up my hair regime. Last week this inspired a trip to my local CVS so that I could switch back to my favorite shampoo, which is ORS Olive Oil Creamy Aloe Shampoo.

No matter what happens I always go back to this shampoo. I love the smell, the creamy texture, and the way my hair feels long after the wash. I guess the creamy aloe aspect of this mixture really works!! At CVS however, much to my dismay they were completely out. My next choice was to try the ORS Hair Repair Invigorating Shampoo. I was a bit skeptical about trying it out and even contemplated waiting until I was able to get my Aloe Shampoo from somewhere else. But! I took that leap of faith and bought it and I was glad I did!

Photo Jun 10, 7 21 36 PM

This Shampoo has the same consistency as my creamy aloe love, but it has mint infused into it!!! Heaven! The tingle is so sensational. And one of the real perks about this shampoo is that its Sulphate free. Sulphate Free Shampoo does not irritate the scalp. You can find more info about it HERE

The lather is amazing also! My hair is absolutely loving this shampoo! Might be my new fav! Thanks ORS!